Stolen Hope

This one is dedicated to one too young to have left us. I’m also dedicating it to her family, and anyone else out there who either suffers from depression or knows someone who suffers from depression.

fog_of_depression

Life is so fresh
And we try to seize every day
But some of us just can’t.
Sometimes it’s just overwhelming.
We’re lost in this … fog and we can’t get through.
We don’t see that pit we’re about to fall into,
Where we tumble into the oh-so-familiar abyss.

But we see a light up there.
We climb out … once more into the fog.
We try again.

stumbled-into-the-pit

 

Some of us just get tired of trying.
Some kind of thief steals our hope and we no longer see the light.
Everyone has their own thief.
You’ll meet him if you ever fall so far into the abyss

rock-bottom

You truly hit bottom.
He gets in your head in that dark place and finds a way
To steal that last bit of hope,
Leaving you no strength to climb out again.
All you have are your choices – the rest of your life at rock bottom,
Or some method your thief left behind to end the pain.
If you’re lucky, you remembered you brought your phone with you.
Most of the time, people don’t remember.

The younger you are, the more vulnerable you feel.
You may have turned your phone off.

Baby girl, you were so young.
I can’t ask you why you never talked. I’ve been there.
I can’t ask the gods “why”, either.
The gods died last night when they let this happen.

national_suicide-300x225

We Marched!

Last week, on January 21st, over 50,000 women, men, and children, gathered in Austin, TX to march for their human rights. It was a beautiful day in Austin. It was HOT, but that didn’t stop any of us.

Just to get a perspective of the crowd, here’s a few people at the Texas Capitol building:

at-the-capitol

This was my first march, and it won’t be my last. I found it … inspirational. Joyous. I reveled in the togetherness of the crowd. And I finally felt like I’d taken a step towards doing something and making a stand!

When I got back home last week, I wrote a poem, as I’m prone to do…

Cities, worldwide, took one day to come together
One day to make a stand

One day…
To march

In a world of division
Over 50,000 people gathered that Saturday
In Austin, TX
Women, men, children…
Ages, races, religions, genders
People from all walks of life
All came together with one purpose…
To march

We all had so many causes to march for:
Women’s Rights
Healthcare
Planned Parenthood
Roe v. Wade

Just to name a few…

Someone asked me why I wanted to march…
Why on earth wouldn’t I?

This is why I march.
I march for you, little sister!
I don’t know if it’s your choice, but you HAVE that choice
and no Politician
or Preacher in his pocket
should ever take it away from you.

I march for you…
Too traumatized to speak of what happened.
You shouldn’t be punished
by being forced to carry
one more reminder
for nine months.
Sister … it wasn’t your fault.

I march for the parents
Who found out in those last few weeks
something went terribly wrong!
They should not be forced into someone else’s decision.
They, too, have a choice!

We march for all of us!
We march for our rights!

And those who marched with me cried
TELL ME WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE!

WE are what democracy looks like.

(Original work, written 1/23/2017. Do not distribute without permission or credit to the author [me])

womens-march-austin

 

Mother’s Mirror

It is never easy to stand by
While your child makes mistakes…
Stumbling through life’s lessons…
We stand helplessly by, knowing this is the only way to learn.

But it is hardest when we watch
And see our own mistakes…
Our own stumbles…
We want so badly for you to listen, but you already “know”.

And we know. We remember.
We, too, were there, once…
We had to stumble and learn for ourselves.

Many times you’ll hear us wish
“If I could go back to my teenage self and say…”
Followed by sage advice we can never give, please remember,
There are times you are truly our mirror.
Your mother can’t go back in time to that teenage girl to
Impart these words of wisdom earned from life’s experience.
So she tries to make a better life
A better future
A healthier experience
For you.

Original composition
10/7/2013

Writing Challenge

What does a sunrise mean to you?

A sunrise is a moment to treasure. The city isn’t awake yet, but nature is and this is her hour.

I’m out in my garage every morning making incense. Daybreak is the coolest time of day where I live. Sunrise is my time to enjoy the quiet, sort through my thoughts and breathe. I’m always at peace by the time I’m done. Just as the sunrise signals a new day, I’m refreshed and ready to start anew as well.

What does a sunrise mean to me? Releasing the past and moving forward into a new day.

Sunrise at the Castle

Depression

Depression is a world filled with tears and empty of reason.

Depression has swings and slides, and leaves painful scars on those who fall on its playground.

Depression is a world of isolation,
wondering if your friends left…
…or if you pushed them away
…or if they’re still there and it’s only your perception from your downward spiral.

Depression is a world of doubt and second guessing.
A battle to fight daily in an endless war.

 

Wildflower_Colorized

 

3/16/2013
Copyright © 2013 by Menopause Express, all rights reserved