Freyja Kitty’s Morning Thoughts

It’s 5:00am. The humans have not yet roused from the bedroom to pet me and give me treats. I will jump on the bed, walking across them and talk to them to assure they are still alive.

It’s 5:30am. My actions earlier were not appreciated although were only out of concern for the humans. Once again my love was only returned by being thrown off the bed. But the humans remain comatose. Perhaps the earlier response was not a conscious reaction. Could it have been an accident? Was mother in the midst of death throes and I was merely in the way? I shall once again jump on the bed, walk across the humans and talk to them to assure they are alive.

It is 5:45am. There is no mistake, the humans are alive, but I am not sure if they are well. Mother once again threw me off the bed but she shouted my name. She also mentioned something about “Saturday” but why? We do this every morning…. Was she calling me to come back? I am confused. I will lament my situation by singing loudly in the language of my people.

Freyja Kitty

A letter to my persistent furry children

I love you dearly, and yes, you are adorable. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t risking your lives by waking me at 5:00am to feed you and to give you treats (yes, Freyja Kitty, I’m talking to you, too).

Miss Freyja, when I toss you off the bed and tell you Timmy is not in the well and it can wait two more hours, knocking things off the bedside table on your way out of the room will only serve to startle me, and piss me off because I’m really awake now.

5:37 should only come once a day, and that’s P.M.

 

I know you all don’t understand that little thing about poking at me before I’ve had that first cup of coffee, but please, stop.

Love,
Mom

A summary of my morning thusfar

4:15am

Freyja kitty jumps on my bed.

“Meow? Meow? I want my kitty treats now. Why aren’t you awake mom?”

Just as I doze off…

4:45am

Harley puppy at the side of my bed, wagging her tail.

“Harroow… mom? Feed me? Why aren’t you up yet?”

Me: “It’s not time, damnit! Go AWAY!

Just as I doze off…

5:00am

From somewhere in the house, Bagheera kitty yowls as he is once again lost in another room. I contemplate forgetting about how pretty he is.

Right about now, Freyja jumps on the bed. “Meow? Are you up yet?”

Hmm… did they plan this? They both want treats… I toss her off the bed and go back to sleep.

7:00am

Paul leaves for TRF to go work on the booths.

I wake up because I’m sleeping light at this point. I’ve been awake already. He was being very quiet. I told him it wasn’t him.

We say goodbye for the day and I get kisses.

Just as I doze off…

7:10am

BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!!!!!

I give up. It’s the construction going on in my neighborhood. I get in my car and find the source, to see who I get to vent my Foamy Wrath upon this morning. But as I think about it, it’s really not their fault. They’re following a schedule. Who scheduled them to do this on a Saturday morning? So I see where they’re tearing up the street and I manage to talk to someone, and find out where I can complain.

Coffee now. It’s got to get better…