At Your Age

Gah… Seriously, people, I don’t feel that old. Well, except for right now, but that’s another story completely. I hear, “At your age,” and I think of my Gran when she was in her 80’s. I’m not even close.

But I am post-menopausal and there are things I need to do that I don’t; for example, bone density tests. And right now I’m dealing with that little issue.

A little back history (ahahahaha!! Unintended pun!!!).

A little over a month ago I decided to get a new pair of sneakers. This lovely pair of Chuck Taylors caught my eye. I haven’t worn that brand in a long time. These weren’t your standard canvas CTs, noooo…. They were black leather and canvas.

Chuck Taylors
Classic Chuck Taylors. I couldn’t find an image of the shoes I bought, but you get the idea. 🙂

 

I had to have them.

About a day or two later we had a very foggy morning, leaving our concrete porch extremely wet. I’d just made a run to … somewhere… honestly, I don’t remember and that part of the story is irrelevant anyway. On my way in my feet, in these new Chuck Taylors, decided it would be a good time to remind me that this particular brand of shoes have crap for traction on slick surfaces. My feet went right out from under me and I landed flat on my tuchus.

Gravity Lessons

 

I felt everything in my spine compress and I knew I’d broken my tailbone. Eh, what can be done about a broken tailbone? I figured I’d just jammed everything else together and I’d be sore for a couple of weeks.

Nope.

A month later, not only had things not improved, they were actually getting worse. I had to go to an orthopedist. He did x-rays and an MRI, and I found out I had compression fractures in 3 of my vertebrae.

WHAT??? But all I did was fall on my a**! This didn’t used to happen!!

getting old

Oh, and if this wasn’t alarming, evidently, this wasn’t the first time I’d done something like this. I also have older compression fractures that have healed.

So why am I telling you all this?

Get your bone density tests. It doesn’t matter how old you are. If you went into early menopause, get your bone density tests done anyway. You don’t want to end up in a back brace looking that’s more like a medical corset because of your fashion choice on a foggy morning.

 

 

Letters Never Sent

Eight years ago today, I finally got out of an abusive relationship. I spent fifteen years with that man, and it ended in an event I refer to as “the bad thing”. This year was the first year I didn’t have nightmares about my ex, or the bad thing. That’s progress.

Today’s post is about letting things go, and saying things I want to say to someone who can no longer hurt me. A letter I’ll never send, because he’s really not worth my time, and because I have to get it out.
Continue reading “Letters Never Sent”

Still Crazy After All These Years…

… but aren’t we all just a tiny bit crazy?

In my last post I brought a very difficult topic to light. I’m happy to say to all of you I’ve made it 2 weeks and 2 days without an incident.

menopauseexpress.com-2-weeks

I won’t lie to you; each day is a challenge right now. But today is probably the first day I’ve actually felt good about myself, and that’s a huge change.  Continue reading “Still Crazy After All These Years…”

Hey – We’re out of straws!

I spent my day off yesterday wondering how I would go back to work today. I was dreading it. I was wavering back and forth between panic and tears. Mr. Magick Man had his own list of things he wanted me to follow-up on for an upcoming trip he’s taking, too. I decided that was it. I can’t start my business, be someone’s personal assistant, cook dinner, and stand on my feet all day. But I wasn’t going to quit on Friday. I’d at least talk to the manager so they could find coverage for Saturday.

I went in and started my shift. I wasn’t happy to be there. All I could think about was how slow I was compared to everyone else. The store was opening and people started coming in. The Friday hoard invaded.

No one understands that you’re new on Friday. Everyone is in a hurry.

This one older guy walked in. He was probably no more than 10 years older than me, but his face really showed his age, y’know? He had a smile on his face and said he’d been looking for a bakery all morning. Considering it was only about 8:15am, he couldn’t have been looking very long… He seemed like a nice guy. He ordered a mixture of pastries and a few cinnamon rolls. These needed a larger box. The box I pulled would have fit, but I’d need to stack some of the pastries. Suddenly, Dr. Nice Customer turns into Mr. Hyde and says in this snippy voice, “Don’t stack them all in one box! Put them all in one layer. I don’t want them messed up!”  So I get the longest box we have, which won’t hold all of them in one layer, btw, and start to box the pastries. I have 4 left over, and I start to get another box. Mr. Hyde then says, “Don’t you know anything?! Do I have to come back there and do it myself? Put them all in that box!” I then replied, “You said not to stack them. If I put them all in one layer, they won’t fit.” And he says, “Just put them all in that box. Do I have to come back there myself?” 

menopauseexpress.com-straw

That was the last straw. I asked one of the other employees to help him, because I was about to tell him I would love to see him behind that counter all day, on his feet, doing my job. I’d pay good money to see him working just one of my shifts while I bitched at him.

Instead, I quit.

Pride

menopauseexpress.com - Pride

 

Pride is a quiet being that lurks inside of all of us. It sneaks out sometimes, in the form of judgment, and we don’t even notice it. It stings. It makes us feel ashamed; make us hide things. It can bring us down and make us cry. We can even hate ourselves because of our own pride and mixed emotions we don’t understand. Continue reading “Pride”

The Abyss

abyss-of-depression

You’re all used to my periodic absences around here. I don’t post on a daily basis. I write when I have a rant, or when I feel something needs awareness. Sometimes I go on hiatus when I have nothing good to say. It’s at these times I find myself in The Abyss.

Today, my topic is depression. Continue reading “The Abyss”

I Promised You Pictures…

… and pictures you will get. In fact, this post will mainly consist of pictures, because the emotions from Saturday’s events are beyond any words I can fill on paper or type in any blog. Continue reading “I Promised You Pictures…”