Miss you already, my Goober boy….

My son made a gruesome discovery today while I was away from the house. Bagheera, one of our kitties, was hit by a car. We are heartbroken at the sudden loss of our Bagheera, whom we affectionately called our “Goober Kitty”. He was with us for over 11 years, and lived a long and happy life, but that doesn’t make this any easier.

Goober was the only cat I ever had who talked to his reflection in the water dish. He was so worried about that cat, and he tried to set it free on more than one occasion.

He would sit outside my office window and wonder why I couldn’t pet him.

PetMeMom

But he was such a love… He wouldn’t just rub up against you; he would push his head up to you and hold it there. I never had a cat that would “headbutt” for pettins’ rather than rub his head to the side like other cats do.

When he purred, he “chuffed” like big cats do.

He was a talkative cat. I could ask him, “Who’s my goober kitty,” and he’d answer me.

He called me, “Mooommm”; quite loudly, I might add, especially when he would get lost inside the house. Not that our house was large enough to get lost in… he would love on you in one room, walk to another room, and forget where you were.

He was a beautiful Bengal boy… and his family tree had no branches. If I could have made him a kitty banjo I would have.

And I loved him with all my heart.

Bagheera Kitty   March 2004 – June 2015

Loss

We lost one of our furry children this week. Sasha was a birthday present for Mr. Magick Man when she was just a puppy, 11+ years ago. She was his baby girl.

I would go into a memorial for Sasha, but really, that’s not what this post is about. This is a post of observation and learning.

Sasha passed away yesterday morning. I made a memorial post on my Facebook account rather than making a public blog post. People on my friends list knew her and I thought this was more appropriate. What I’ve observed is the general response to a person’s grief (whether the person who passed is a family member of the 2-legged or 4-legged variety). What horrifies me is that I may have been guilty (at one time or another) of some of the things that have offended me over the past 24 hours, myself. This inspired me to write, tonight, on how we might respond to a grieving friend when we see a post about his or her loss:

  • Expressing shock and sympathy
  • “OMG, I’m so sorry!! :: hugs ::
  • Emotional support
  • If you are in this person’s close circle of friends
    • CALL THE PERSON
    • He or she may have posted a memorial post, but a phone call is so much more personal. If someone is grieving, they need that personal contact, not a “comment”, or a text. They need your time if you’re in their closer circle of friends.

What not to do:

  • DO NOT SHARE THE PERSON’S POST
    • Your friend just posted a memorial post. You don’t know if this post is limited to a certain group of friends or if it is just on this person’s friends list. Most likely, it is not a public post. Why on earth would you share this post? Yes, I have seen this done to other grieving individuals.
  • Do not tell the person about your past experience with your dead cat/dog/brother/aunt/etc… This is not about you. It is possible to express sympathy (even express empathy) without relaying your story. The person grieving does not want to hear your story. If they weren’t grieving, they would care, but right now they just can’t.
    • This is the one that eats at me. This is the one I’m horrified I may have done in the past. If I’ve ever done this to anyone I am so sorry. In the past 24 hours people have done this to me and I know just how much you probably wanted to beat me over the head or tell me to just STFU.

Part of me reads what I just typed and says, “Hon, don’t post this. It’s just the grief and you’ll regret this post in a few days.” But really, that’s what this post is about – responding to a grieving friend. My reactions to the responses I received may be on the far end of the scale. One could say I’m overreacting and emotional right now; but that’s the point. When one is communicating with a grieving friend in that frame of mind, one needs to handle communication appropriately. The time for sharing stories is after the grieving is over. If you really feel the need to share any posts, you should at least ask the person first and explain why; and if the person declines then respect that decision.

I’m off my soapbox for the night. Peace and love. I’m going to go love my other dog and my kitties.

Freyja Kitty’s Morning Thoughts

It’s 5:00am. The humans have not yet roused from the bedroom to pet me and give me treats. I will jump on the bed, walking across them and talk to them to assure they are still alive.

It’s 5:30am. My actions earlier were not appreciated although were only out of concern for the humans. Once again my love was only returned by being thrown off the bed. But the humans remain comatose. Perhaps the earlier response was not a conscious reaction. Could it have been an accident? Was mother in the midst of death throes and I was merely in the way? I shall once again jump on the bed, walk across the humans and talk to them to assure they are alive.

It is 5:45am. There is no mistake, the humans are alive, but I am not sure if they are well. Mother once again threw me off the bed but she shouted my name. She also mentioned something about “Saturday” but why? We do this every morning…. Was she calling me to come back? I am confused. I will lament my situation by singing loudly in the language of my people.

Freyja Kitty

A letter to my persistent furry children

I love you dearly, and yes, you are adorable. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t risking your lives by waking me at 5:00am to feed you and to give you treats (yes, Freyja Kitty, I’m talking to you, too).

Miss Freyja, when I toss you off the bed and tell you Timmy is not in the well and it can wait two more hours, knocking things off the bedside table on your way out of the room will only serve to startle me, and piss me off because I’m really awake now.

5:37 should only come once a day, and that’s P.M.

 

I know you all don’t understand that little thing about poking at me before I’ve had that first cup of coffee, but please, stop.

Love,
Mom

I made it through the first week!

One definitely has to make adjustments when getting back into the swing of a classroom routine, but it isn’t so bad. I think my major challenge is that I’m working on a Mac. You see, I cut my teeth on a PC. I know the Windows OS like the back of my hand. A Mac??? This is foreign territory to me. I find myself getting to class early just so I can hit the lab and navigate the UI. Oh well, at least I’m a quick study. Regardless of the challenge I’m facing, Photoshop is still Photoshop, regardless of the platform you’re on. Digital Imaging is my favorite class. 🙂

In addition to classes, we’re gearing up for Texas Renaissance Festival! It starts in October, but we have a new booth this year! The Mystic Armory! If you’re in the Houston, TX area (or traveling distance), I highly encourage you to come out to the festival. You’ll have loads of fun!  Just a few pics of the booth can be found here:

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150857802162117.405696.280964277116&type=3

I’ll post more in a few weeks. Between classes and getting ready for Festival, I’m kinda’ busy now. 😉

As for our latest addition to the family? She’s just as mischievous as you’d expect a kitten to be. In fact, I’m beginning to think Missy should be short for Mischievous. I find myself calling her “Missyfus” every now and then, especially when she’s playing with things those in my office that I’d rather she not… :: rolls eyes ::  But all in all, she’s the cutest kitten ever, and has me wrapped around her paw. I mean, really…. just look…

And yes, the other cats are talking to me. However, Little Missy has a foul mouth. You should hear the way they talk to each other! :: gasp! ::

And on that note, it’s time to get ready for class. Have a great day, everyone!

Such an amazing weekend!

On Friday, the step-parent adoption was final. My husband adopted my son and the wonderful father/son relationship they’ve had over the years was finally formalized. Our first family photo:

Later that night, my brother-in-law gave us a very special treat! Journey was in concert!!! Opening for them? Loverboy and Pat Benetar! Ok, these are all way before the teenboy’s time, but OMG!!!! But wait, there’s more! VIP Backstage Passes for Journey! Yes, we got to meet Arnel Pineda (and yes, he does sound just like Steve Perry). Pics or it didn’t happen? You got it!

OMG, the concert was incredible! I felt *mumble mumble mumble* years younger as the music took me back to the day. I sang all night! But you know, some things are just passed on from generation to generation. When the band played Faithfully, I looked over at my boy and his girlfriend; there they were… she was swaying back and forth to the music. He was behind her with his arms around her… :: sigh :: they really do grow up too fast.

 

Saturday morning came way too early. We had to get the teenboy to high school for his orientation. Class schedule, locker assignment and combination obtained. Found out one of us has to be there Monday morning to deal with the name change thing; they were just too busy to do it then (really, at orientation they weren’t prepared for “Oh, we just had an adoption finalized”… I kinda’ expected to have to handle this on Monday).

 

Saturday night a good friend of mine hosted a get together at her place because there was absolutely no way I could have done anything at my house. I had out of town guests, I’d been losing sleep for a couple of nights leading up to the adoption (don’t ask me why… excitement? who knows??) By the time Saturday night hit I’d been running on an average of about 4 hours sleep for 3 days straight. I have pics, but I haven’t had the energy to download them off my camera yet. I’m still exhausted. 🙂

 

We were supposed to get together for brunch with the girls today, but by the time this morning rolled around I just couldn’t go anymore. Brunch didn’t happen, which kinda’ disappoints me. I wanted to take my best friend, Lyl, (who just happened to be the attorney who handled the adoption). We’ll have to do Ladies Brunch next time she’s in town.

 

This leads me to the last little bit of my tale… Lyl’s son had gone to a friend’s house while they were down here this weekend. Evidently, his friend had these two kittens who were in need of a home… The plan was for the two kittens to go home with Lyl and for her to foster them, find them a home, etc… Well… the calico of the litter kinda’ found me while they were here at my house. Missy stayed.

So, yeah… my husband gained a son and I just got a new baby girl! An amazing weekend all around. 🙂