Moving – The Full Story

I left off with “I hate moving!” You should know what’s behind that story.

In January of this year, I moved a few hours north. Not out of state, but a bit of a drive. I was closer to friends and family that I rarely see, and I thought this would make me happy after all that time of being at the bottom of the dark pit.

I discovered a few things when I got up there, though:

  • My health took a serious nose dive
  • Friends and family all have things going on, just like everyone else.
    • We don’t see each other nearly as often as we used to
    • We see each other “online”
  • I kinda’ missed my husband…. Yeah…. I missed him. The good and the bad. Everything.

grass_is_greener

The part about all of us having our own lives was easy to understand. We grow, life happens, we all change, and we didn’t live as close together as we used to, either. They may call me Duch, but I’ll admit it isn’t all about me, here. But, that’s just between you me, ok? I got a reputation to protect.

secret

But, my health…. Yeah….. my health was getting really bad. I had to move back. I wasn’t happy about it. I hate moving. But it had to be done. We set the date for the beginning of August.

BUT, the best laid plans….

I’m not going to bad mouth my previous apartment complex. The manager was very helpful in trying to make things right when they went drastically wrong that last week I was there. However, as with any business, there is always room for improvement. I will say that he bent over backwards to make the best of a bad situation, especially given my health issues. Let’s just say mold is a horrible thing. My health was bad enough; I didn’t want to add anything else to the list off problems. All this caused me to step up the move date unexpectedly by about 2-3 weeks. No stress here!

stress raccoon

I’m at my husband’s now. Remodeling is almost done. Mount Boxmore is in the front room, and I’m trying to find a place for my stuff. Things will gradually fall back into place and normal will happen again.

So…. This is the lengthy version of “I Hate Moving”. You’ll see more from me when Mercury is out of retrograde. Damn, this was hard to write.

Peace, everyone!

From the Mouths of Babes

My niece recently posted a list of questions she asked her young son, and shared his loving, adorable answers. I wish I’d done something similar when my son was his age. However, I firmly believe that it is never too late!

Behold, the 17-year-old perspective on the same questions. And, yes, I enjoyed going through these questions with my son. I hope he had just as much fun as I did.

  1. What is something mom always says to you?

Boy!

  1. What makes mom happy?

Coffee

  1. What makes mom sad?

When you don’t get anything for Mother’s Day from your favorite, most beloved son.

  1. How does your mom make you laugh?

When you get confused by memes.

  1. What was your mom like as a child?

Low-key “problem child”.

  1. How old is your mom?

Hmmm…. 29.

  1. How tall is your mom?

smol

  1. What is her favorite thing to do?

Drink coffee.

  1. What does your mom do when you’re not around?

I don’t want to know.

  1. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

Can’t decide between loudest scream, weirdest dance, or “used up the entire worlds supply of coffee beans”. On second thought, all three of those.

  1. What is your mom really good at?

Making incense. Your incense is the bomb.

  1. What is your mom not very good at?

Chess. “You’re not good at chess, mom. I would totally kick your ass.”

  1. What does your mom do for a job?

You make incense and other aromatherapy products. And probably sell them as drugs. Hard core drugs. Don’t put that, though.

  1. What is your mom’s favorite food?

The souls of the damned.

  1. What makes you proud of your mom?

Do I have to choose one thing here? I mean, somehow I didn’t wind up dead. Good job! … I’ve honestly never thought about specific things. I’m just proud of you because you’re the bomb, in general, pretty much.

  1. If your mom were a character, who would she be?

Probably Kanayamaryam, from Homestuck.

  1. What do you and your mom do together?

Make a lot of tasteless jokes in the car.

  1. How are you and your mom the same?

We finish each other’s … sandwiches.

  1. How are you and your mom different?

I crave change a lot more than you do.

  1. How do you know your mom loves you?

You’re very understanding about my stance on controversial issues.

  1. What does your mom like most about your dad?

I have no idea.

  1. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?

There are a few places. The garage, to work on her incense; Neesi’s house; Starbucks…

  1. How old was your Mom when you were born?

Hang on… ok… you were … ?? Thirty…two?? No… Thirty, right? No! You were 29.

On Teens, Taking Ownership, and a Very Frustrated Mom

I’ve only got the one teen, but I’ve been assured this is a normal phase for his age. Regardless, I believe it’s important that as parents, we teach responsibility to our kids early. When they start taking ownership for the little things now, it only makes things easier when they get out there in the real world as adults.

There are times I find myself … frustrated with my teenboy.

Oh The Stress

He is 15. At his age, we should not have to remind him about the little things, like things he’s responsible for around the house on a regular basis, or, oh… basic hygiene.

As parents, we have to take ownership in this problem, too. We’ve fallen into the trap of reminding him to take care of these things for far too long. As I recall saying to my sister at the age of 14 when she asked me why I kept forgetting to take my seizure control medications, “Why should I remember? Everyone keeps reminding me.” I was a snotty little teen back then. But at least I smelled good. Why anyone put up with that attitude back then I have no idea…

But I digress.

We’re doing now what someone should have done for me back then. We’re laying out clear expectations.

The boy has a week to adjust, and then he’s on his own. If he doesn’t take responsibility for what’s on his list, he loses privileges (the cell phone we pay for, internet access we pay for, etc…). He enjoys writing and I won’t take that away, but he can write old-style, with pen and paper. I figure one or two times and this won’t be an issue anymore.

The list he has on his door and on the fridge:

Teenboy Responsibilities

 

Some may think this is a bit harsh; however, the teenboy does have an excuse or an argument for delaying, not doing, or forgetting to do everything. We aren’t shutting him down from communication. We want him to communicate proactively. We also want him to communicate if an issue arises (for example, technical difficulties with the washer). Taking ownership of “I forgot” and admitting one’s mistakes is also an important part of growing up.

Family

It’s Mother’s Day. I have an amazing teenboy and a wonderful husband. I may kvetch every now and then, but when it comes down to it, I really do consider myself to be the luckiest woman on earth.

The teenboy hasn’t been sleeping well lately. We got up this morning and he was still asleep, so we decided to let him sleep in. Really, he needed it. Mom always made my sister and I feel  obligated to do the whole “breakfast-in-bed” thing for her. Really, while that might be nice, no kid should be obligated or “guilt-tripped” into doing anything just because it’s Mother’s Day. That’s just not right. So Mr. Magick Man took me to Kenny & Ziggy’s for breakfast and we let the boy get some well needed sleep.

When we got there, we were surprised to see Mr. Magick Man’s brother, sister, et al… basically, my brother-in-law had a “Mother’s Day” breakfast for everyone in the family and didn’t call my husband or me. We got there just as they were leaving. Mr. Magick Man’s sister says she asked where we were, but his brother never gave her an answer. When we drove up he finally admitted to not calling us. Never gave a reason why, she just said he looked … awkward. She said she didn’t know about this breakfast until last night, when her son told her “Uncle M said the whole family is meeting at Kenny & Ziggy’s tomorrow morning.” She just assumed we were going to be there.

You know, I will never understand the relationship between my husband and his brother. They’re pretty much the only family they have left. Their parents are deceased. They have cousins, but they aren’t in touch. I just wasn’t raised that way – you don’t treat family like that.  Just as my son was not obligated to get up this morning and make breakfast for me, M was not obligated to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. But you know, Mr. Magick Man is M’s only brother; if you’re going to organize a “family event”, include the whole family, damnit.

But what really gets me is the way my husband just lets this roll off of his back. “That’s just my brother. That’s how he is, and he’ll never change. I don’t understand him either, but he’s my brother.” I know for a fact this would never happen, but if M ever came to my husband in need of anything, my husband wouldn’t hold anything against him. He’d be there for him. I think that’s one of the reasons I get so wound up when things like this happen – my husband still treats his brother like family, but it isn’t returned in kind.

And maybe I’m a little bit angry, too, because his younger sibling doesn’t see how lucky he is to have his brother living so close. They’re in the same city, maybe 20 minutes away from each other in traffic. I’d give my eye teeth for my sister to live that close.

:: sigh :: Enough with my rant for the day. I’m going to get off the computer and spend some time with my son.