Suddenly, parents need Special Parking??

I’ll preface this post with a grow-the-fuck-up to all those parents out there who won’t agree with me on this.

How many of you have seen these signs in the grocery store parking lots, shopping mall parking garages, and other areas where it is difficult to find parking?

Families With Children Parking Sign

You might find something similar. You know, Reserved for Expectant Mothers, or Reserved for Parents with Infants. You get the idea.

What special snowflake came up with this batshit crazy idea? I mean, seriously. If you can’t handle getting from your car to the store with your kid(s), maybe you shouldn’t be a parent. Need special parking close to the front door because you’re pregnant??? OMFG, PLEASE!!! That’s when you need to be walking and exercising, bitch! Put your phone down, get off of Flakebook, and walk for a little bit. Do something good for that baby growing inside of you. Try to be a good mother now, because you have a hell of a lot of work in front of you after that baby gets here.

Let’s face it, people. Having children is not a disability. Stop trying to treat it like one and asking for special parking, ok?

‘Cause, tell ya’ what. As long as I see these signs at the grocery store and the spots are available, I’m gonna’ park there.

I did it today. I went to the local HEB just to buy beer.

Hooray Beer

I come out with my six-pack to my empty car and get the stink eye from a mother with her bratty child who’s whining and screaming already (and he isn’t even in the store yet). I stopped and looked at her with the raised eyebrow.

She walked away.

He drives me crazy

The teenboy is learning how to drive. He’s taking his behind-the-wheel classes, but those do need to be reinforced with practice sessions. Unfortunately, those practice sessions involve me and my car. This brings to mind a song from the ’80’s by the Fine Young Cannibals. I always changed the gender when I sang this song. This morning, as I recall yesterday’s driving adventure, it’s running through my head:

He drives me crazy
Like no one else
He drives me crazy
And I can’t help myself

Really, I must say, for a beginning driver, the teenboy is doing an excellent job. But when we backed out of the driveway yesterday and he forgot to put the car into Drive, he did one of those “drive-it-like-you-stole-it” moves. He did a perfect horseshoe with my tight turning radius, putting the back two tires up on the curb.

This was the only time a scream passed through my lips. Unfortunately, it came with words that sounded something like “What the f*** are you doing?!?!?”

scream

 

He seemed to be just as panicked at the moment.

I then had to keep myself from laughing when he put the hazard lights on, safely pulled out in the direction we needed to go, then turned the hazards off. Do they teach that in Driver’s Ed now?

Mental note, he hasn’t made many mistakes but when he does they scare the bejeezus out of me. At least he only pulls stunts like that once, they scare the bejeezus out of him, too, and he learns from the experience. We’re able to get to our nearby destination, discuss what happened and he can tell me exactly what went wrong and what happened right before that to cause it.

So, what happened right before that to cause his distraction, making him forget to put the car into Drive?

Backing out of our driveway, everything was clear. However, he’s a new driver and he’s moving slow. A car started approaching from one direction. He got nervous. He had the “I-need-to-get-out-of-here” reaction. Unfortunately, he skipped a step. We talked about what happens when you panic behind the wheel and how bad that could have been if we were on a busy street vs. just outside our driveway. Lesson learned.

Bonus points:

  • He quickly recovered from said incident and made it to the busy grocery store without further issues.
  • He navigated the H.E.B. parking lot without hitting any pedestrians.
  • He parked the car perfectly!
  • Unshaken by the crazy people trying to find a parking space in the H.E.B. parking lot, he drove home.

We made it home. Alive.

I had a beer.

Driver’s Ed

The Teenboy’s behind the wheel courses start this Monday. We reviewed the scheduled appointments this month for 3 of his 7 behind-the-wheel classes. The remaining sessions will occur after our trip to Dallas. Of course, he asked if he’ll get to drive part of the way to Dallas. I said no. His freeway classes aren’t until his 6th or 7th class.

“But mom, there might be a clear straight-a-way for a bit.”

“No.”

He’s so eager. I’m so nervous.

Maybe next trip.

 

Why I am grateful this morning

This morning I am grateful for the strength given to me to face the storm of emotion, so I could help someone near and dear to me in a time of need.

This morning I am grateful for being in the right place at the right time.

This morning I am grateful for miracles.

This morning I am grateful for the safety of my family. As I hug my teenboy, I worry he’ll be driving soon and I know there are lunatics out there on the road.

Please, just take a moment from your day and let your family know you love them.

Driving Miss Daisy

Or, why it rubs my fur the wrong way to lose one ounce of my independence…

I had another breakthrough seizure Wednesday. This one was a Complex Partial seizure – full convulsions. I vaguely remember sitting down to take the certification exam. I don’t remember 3 hours passing by. I do remember panicking at having only answered 20 questions. No, I have no idea if 3 hours had really passed by or not. You’re kind-of disoriented when these things happen to you.

The next thing I remember is waking up in the back of an ambulance, and that’s a bit foggy. I don’t remember all the details of how I got from the ambulance to the emergency room. I was able to answer basic questions, I think… but I don’t remember anyone asking me questions. My husband showed up; so at some point I must have given them his cell phone number.

So now I lose my driving privileges for at least 6 months, providing I remain seizure free for that time frame. I’ve lost my independence. I have to rely on other people to get me from A to B. Jesus Christ on a fucking pogo stick, who is going to want to hire me when I don’t have my own transportation? :: headdesk ::

It will happen before I know it

I had a dream a couple of nights ago that both amused and terrified me at the same time.

My teen boy was driving. Driving a car. While I was in the passenger seat.

I don’t remember much of the dream. I remember we were in a hurry. We were either very late, or we were trying to get away from someone, but regardless, we had to leave quickly. About half way down the road, my teen boy says to me, “So, mom, when are you going to realize I’m driving the car?” At which point, I freaked, said, “OMFG, you aren’t supposed to be driving yet! Pull over!” and promptly woke up.

:: sigh ::

Fair warning, everyone. He has a birthday coming up this month. He will officially be old enough to start taking Drivers Education classes. I’m not saying we’re starting all that. I’m just saying he’s getting to be that age. The streets are safe…for now. 😉