What was he thinking?

I just got a call from the teen boy’s Spanish teacher today. She informed me he hasn’t turned in any homework for the past 9 weeks.

She said he keeps saying he left it at home and he’ll bring it tomorrow. This, of course, is the same Spanish teacher who backed off from teaching an immersion style class because the parents complained it was “difficult” and their kids didn’t understand Spanish in the first place.

Ok…. on the one hand, the boy is lucky to have a pushover teacher, in this case. But I really wish she’d let me know something sooner. And yes, I’m glad his foreign language classes next year are taught “old school” – immersion style. And they won’t let the kids get away with this “no homework” BS when he gets to high school. They have a mandatory after-school study hall for the kids who forget to do their homework.

But really, 9 weeks? He hasn’t done his homework in this class for 9 weeks? You know, sometimes I really get tired of trying to help him succeed. We’ve been working with him, helping him bring the Algebra grade up, only to find this? What else? Now I need to email his other teachers and ask if he’s behind on other assignments in their classes, too? He’s 14. At what point do I draw the line and remove the net? Do I do it now or keep micro-managing him a couple more years, and see if he can do it by his Junior year of HS? He’s got to be able to do this on his own for college. :: headdesk ::

 

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~ by Duch on April 26, 2012.

7 Responses to “What was he thinking?”

  1. I have that 14 year old daughter…GAWD help me! Her dad got her report card yesterday and I told him I didn’t want to know. It gives me anxiety. I. Just. Don’t. Want. to. Know.
    She just got a D on a French quiz. Here’s something funny, your mother has a degree in freakin’ French!!!
    Aaarrrgghhhh!

    Feel yer pain.
    Maggie

  2. I spent a lot of time and money with mental health professionals to learn that my children’s grades were not my grades. I made it a mantra. But I still got upset. Just a little less upset.

  3. Speaking as someone with ADD, who almost never managed to do her homework:

    What would have probably worked for me is having someone work with me to prioritize my time, show how to create schedules and goals, and break up my workload into chunks I would be able to handle easily.

    What I know would have worked is the timer trick I still use to get things done – I use a timer to work in small chunks and take breaks in small chunks*

    Also, because of the ADD, I have no time sense. It’s easy, if I’m doing something that I find allows me to escape from stress, to lose huge chunks of time. Conversely, if something causes stress, it’s harder for me to spend any time on it. Finding ways to reduce the stress when I do need to do something stress-inducing, and finding the reward in getting something done help me. Finding the reward is not about giving myself a treat if I do something hard, it’s about sitting back and absorbing the real benefits of doing it.

    I don’t know if any of this will help, but I hope you find a way to help him with this.

    *I lie, my breaks are often in large chunks.

  4. I agree with Zyada. Get that boy a daytimer! Seriously, he might benefit from writing down what needs to be done and prioritizing it.
    He needs to know that no one likes homework but it’s a necessary evil.
    Kids (and some adults) have the hardest time realizing that hard work and completion of designated tasks can help self-esteem and elevate mood.
    or
    you could beat him.

    • He has a daytimer; or, at least, the school’s equivalent of a weekly planner. Does he use it? No. Does he write down his assignments? No.

      Yeah, I could beat him. But you and I both know that doesn’t work, and we’re both better than that. Besides, he’s really doing a great job beating up on himself right now. He’s his own worst enemy. I hate seeing my kid so depressed and so stressed out like this. I know he got himself into this mess, but now he’s looking at this overwhelming pile of backlogged assignments and it just seems like “so much”. Just … damnit…. :/

  5. There may be some useful strategies on this website: http://www.additudemag.com/index.html I’ve always thought the stuff they’ve had that I read makes a lot of sense and even though I’m looking more at the adult stuff, there’s a lot of kids and school articles as well.

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