My middle niece is getting married in just a few weeks. I’m so happy for her, and so proud. And there are so many things I want to tell her. It’s times like these when I wish I lived closer, so I could just go visit, sit down, and have the “heart-to-heart-Auntie-chat”. Online or on the phone just isn’t the same.
I’ve been sitting on this “talk” for about a week now. I saw Melinda just for a brief while last weekend, but really, there wasn’t enough time, and this is really something for the both of them. Now I’m at the point where I just need to write it out so I don’t make an embarrassing speech at the wedding reception. 😉
To Melinda and Jerrod, with much love, from Auntie Cyn…
Be each other’s loving friend. Nourish each other with love and integrity. Accept each other’s individuality. Support each other; especially through the more challenging times life presents you. Revel and share in each other’s joys and accomplishments. Share your own hopes and dreams through a lifetime of learning and communication. Strive for intimacy, insight, patience and affection.
The secret to a good marriage? I don’t claim to be that wise. But I do like the words of wisdom our Rabbi passed on to us at our wedding: “You can be right, or you can be happy.” That doesn’t mean invalidate your emotions or your opinions. It doesn’t mean cave in to your partner all the time. It means when things do come up, take a breath and look at the situation in the big picture. Discuss things with your spouse calmly. Talk about what’s happened and how you feel. Listen to how your spouse feels. Develop the ability to let things go and don’t carry a grudge. You don’t have to be right … y’know? Approach the situation with an open mind.
There will be times in your marriage when you love each other with a fiery passion. There will be times when you are both so frustrated with each other you want to tear your hair out. The best thing is knowing that this person is not only your loving partner, but your best friend. In those frustrating times, you can trust this person and communicate with this person and work out whatever may be going on. That’s what makes it worthwhile.
Congratulations, both of you. I’m such a proud Auntie Cyn. We’ll see you soon! 🙂